Simply put emotional infidelity is an emotional involvement with someone you are attracted to outside of your marriage or primary relationship regardless of whether you are actually physically engaging in infidelity or not.
Just because someone hasn’t physically acted on their impulses to be sexually engaged with someone outside of their relationship, their emotional connection and relationship with someone they are attracted to, who they probably also fantasize about being with sexually, is essentially emotional infidelity.
Now one may argue that you cannot control the thoughts in that come into one’s mind and that it is one’s control of their actions that counts, however, just being tempted is not the same thing as emotional involvement.
Emotional involvement consists of deliberate interactions on an ongoing basis. Spending time together, intimate conversations, non-verbal communication that you are attracted to the other person. It can also include thinking about the other person all the time even when you are with your partner, sending flirty texts or emails is an obvious one, buying the other person gifts that might come across as a romantic gesture and fantasizing about being in a relationship with the other person.
These are all ways of committing emotional infidelity. Sex is ultimately not the only method of infidelity. Being involved in an emotionally intimate relationship with another person you are attracted to while in a marriage or primary relationship is still infidelity nonetheless.
Emotional infidelity is harder to confirm than sexual infidelity. So what are some of the signs to look for?
Is your partner spending more time with someone else in particular that they are attracted to than with you? Does your partner seem to be happy or in a good mood after spending time with the other person more than they are with you? Is your relationship becoming more distant while the relationship between your partner and the other person becoming closer? If you ask about the other person does your partner become angry or defensive rather than surprised and open to talking about things?
If you do come to the conclusion that your partner is committing emotional infidelity is it the same to you as if they committed sexual infidelity? Is it grounds for ending the relationship or getting divorced? Can a relationship bounce back from this? Have boundaries to friendships outside the primary relationship ever been discussed with your partner? These are all great questions to consider.
Emotional infidelity can quickly turn into actual sexual infidelity. When this becomes a suspicion infidelity DNA testing can help prove or disprove sexual infidelity if items are tested for semen or DNA and compared to a specific person’s DNA.